So, I got the boys back down. Luke did end up waking up when James started crying. I swear that if it weren't for the fact that they're so cute... *sigh*

Anyway, I decided that I'm going to use quotes about mothers and motherhood to title my posts. Since, I guess, that's what this journal/blog/lj/call-it-whatever-you-want is mostly going to be about. Right? I don't know. I know that the boys aren't the greatest of my concerns at the moment...

I really think that there's a possibility of Pierce leaving me. He found out about what happened over Christmas when we were all hanging out at his cousin's house the other night. I don't know why she can't keep her big fat mouth shut. I mean, it didn't affect her at all. I really think that she just likes seeing how badly she can screw with me. Whatever. Like I said before, this whole situation is really my fault. I can't blame anyone else...

If Pierce was cruel to me, if he mistreated me in some way, then I'm sure that someone would be able to justify it somehow, but they can't. I'm just not 100% happy. I love him. I do. I just don't know...sometimes I wonder if getting married right out of high school was the best idea. And then to start trying to have kids right away...with everything that we went through to get the boys, I'm surprised that didn't kill our relationship long before all this started happening.

Oh, well... I guess that I'm going to take some time to think about things before I come back and start posting about what happened at Christmas and everything else. Pierce is working the overnight tonight, so maybe I'll take advantage of the opportunity to stretch out in the bed.

Toodles,
Reid

I'm a 24-year-old mother and wife. Unfortunately, wedded bliss isn't as blissful as one might think. My husband and I are going through a rough patch, at the moment, and I'm afraid that I may be facing the very real possibility of a divorce in the near future.

It's my own fault, I guess. I mean, I could've stopped myself, but I didn't. I let my feelings get in the way of...well, everything.

Fortunately for me, Pierce doesn't know that I've got this, so I can use it as an outlet. I know that these are the very things that I should be talking to him about...trying to make this work...but I can't. And, to be honest, I'm not sure if I want it to work.

For now, I'm going to leave it at this. James is crying and I know that, if he's awake, it won't be long before Luke is awake, too. Motherhood is a blessing to be sure, but why does it sometimes feel like a curse?

Reid